When bitter hipsters bite back

You know, this started out so promising. Until I actually read the ad. I know being bitter is the trading currency of white male hipsters, but seriously now. TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN, SON.

quirky dude looking for babe with similar sense of humor - NO FLAKES - 24 (new orleans)

---

i am a 24 year old educated male who is looking for someone to take out to dinner/court/chill with a couple times a week. i work a professional job with regular business hours and i typically have off on the weekends. i am not from new orleans originally, but my work moved me here for the time being. although i take my career serious, i do not really take myself serious and love having a good time.

activities i have historically enjoyed: walks in the park, walking dogs, playing soccer, golfing, bowling, going to the movies, going out to eat, random adventures, stringing together a sweet series of awesome cuss words, swimming, going to the beach, cuddling, hanging out, chillin, listening to music (lately i've been listening to the descendents, the movielife, the appleseed cast), traveling, going to museums/zoos/aquariums, telling funny-ass anecdotes

i do not drink, go to bars, and i think clubbing is gay.

i'm quirky but i'm also caring, nice, friendly, and trustworthy.

ideally you will be smart, friendly, funny, educated, 22-26 years old, and not a loser, douchebag, or fucking flake.

if you are interested please respond with pic! if no pic is attached i will blow that mother away so fast.

Animal handler wanted

Anyone want to place bets that this guy is actually having a massive mid-life crisis, and his favorite movie is Sideways?

CAN YOU TAME A WILD BULL? - 34 (NORTHSHORE/SOUTHSHORE)

DINNER,DRINKS,AND RIDE OF INTO THE SUNSET, ANY TAKERS?

I hate men who love Jesus

Why does the only cute young man on CL have to volunteer at his church? Why? Because Jesus hates me and all the other heathens. Ugh, Christianity. He lives in the 'burbs (mostly likely with Mom and Dad since he's a good church boy) so I'm probably not really missing much anyway.

I LOVE THE NOTEBOOK!!!!!! - 24 (Metairie)

Hi! My name is George, I'm a 24 year old law student, 5'5 and kind of skinny. And by that I mean actually skinny. I'm in law school, yes, but I'm something of a fish out of water there. In real life, I'm a musician (I play in a band and teach guitar) and writer. I love teaching guitar, and volunteering with my church's CYO. I love molding kids and teaching them to think. But I'm definitely not defined by the stuff I do, I'm much more than that (I hope, hahaha). I'm a little off beat we'll say, but I embrace it and I hope you will, too.
I love music (obviously), reading (HUGE history nerd), writing, movies (I wasn't lying about the Notebook, btw... I'm a sap but I also like goofy comedies as well as bad scary movies), seeing live bands, and having fun! I also love to cook and enjoy nights in.
As for what I'm looking for? Well, I personally think I lead a fulfilling life. I have great friends and do many things I love. After a very long time I've sort of figured out that what I really want is a funny redhead (optional of course) who'll meet me for beers after work (I'm a judicial intern at the 4th Circuit in the Quarter) and who I can send goofy texts during the day. If it becomes more than that, well awesome! I'm a little different, and finding a woman who accepts that is really a must. I do need attention, but not as much as I used to. So if you're patient, passionate, and like talking, I'd love to hear from you!

--George

P.S. I hope you enjoy the pictures... and just so I can make sure you're not spamming me (I need neither baldness cream nor penis enhancers, thank you) let me know in the subject line or something... I imagine spam robots or whatever don't actually read these. Later!

Oh say can you see...

I have a feeling this guy's looking for a special someone to share July 4 with. Nothing says sweet patriotic love like setting off bottle rockets and double fisting some Miller High Lifes**.

**Ma Tire feels obliged to disclose she is an excessive fan of the champagne of beers. As well as ranch dressing, marching bands, and Scope.

I am a real American - 24 (Covington)

I fight for whats right and I don`t let it slide.
Courage keeps me free inside.
I am a real American.
I Fight for my way of life
I want someone who shares these beliefs.
All others need not apply.
Im tired of leeches who does`nt posses a single ounce of competence.
If you are a real American and fights for whats right drop me a line.
5`8. 180, SWM

Looking for Love

There's no way this guy is not gonna meet the woman of his dreams. I mean, the ladieez like honesty, right?

Every girl on craigslist is bullshit - 44 (New Orleans)

Tell me im wrong with a pic not a website with a pic you will get mine

Not the Ombuds you remember

During college orientation, they probably talked to you about the Ombuds office, how to get your student loan refund, and the wonderful opportunities available to you in the Student Activities Council.

But did they tell you about the special College Girl Support System available from your local craigslist page? No? Well stop crying about those recent tuition hikes girl, because your knight in shining armor just arrived.

College Girl Support System - 34 (Greater New Orleans)

Seeking attractive and fun loving ladies ages 20 to 27 who could use some friendship, satisfaction, and support without the normal entanglements from time to time. This system is designed to to be safe and drama free fun for ladies who weren't born into royalty but who also deserve help making their dreams a reality. Send some photos, a description of what kind of support you need, and your dreams or goals you are trying to attain, and contact information. Put CGSS in the intro line. This is for real and only a few spots are presently open.

Paging René Descartes

Shit is deep, yo.

Fantasy's can run but they can't hide - 19 (new orleans)

I am myself. Which is not: What you think I should be What I would like to be or what the expect me to be. I will never be all of the above. I will be the answer to my own question. And I may refuse to answer yours the way you would like So prepare yourself. Because I am myself.
im lost, i went to go find myself but if i should return before i get back can u please tell me to wait


if you want to see a pic just ask

High Standards

I think he might be asking too much.... Art and TV? I think he needs to narrow it done to one or the other. Everyone loves beer though.

Seeking: A Person - 26 (NOLA-ish)

I'm seeking a person who fits this description.

Must have:
*Vagina
*Breasts
*Brain (more than 10 functional brain cells required)

Interests:
*Art
*Beer
*TV
*Me

Message me.

Sugar Free Daddy

Boy, don't you know ladies are only looking for men to spend money on them. "Spoiled with love" - what is that shit? Buy me some clothes or something.

Need a Daddy? - 32 (covinton)

loking for a young fun girl under 25 to take out and have fun must have a great personality out going, i dont mind spending money i like to be spoiled with love and spoil back all i ask is for a pic and # for to responed my 5 foot 11 inches toned body. looking forward to meeting you

Show Em Whatcha Got

Like a relationship with the realness and msjs, and none of the nonsense of having to remember your boo's favorite movie theater candy, shirt size, or even their neighborhood? This one's for you.

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy - 28 (new orleans)

i want to real relationship so i know its hard to find here but i will try!!!!!!!!!!!!so please if you interesting leave me a msj

He can't make it on his own

Because Craigslist might hold the key to your future success in the music business - All you need a is a cute blonde girl to front your band! You got your guitar and amp off CL, why not a hot singer too? Maybe you can even be friends (aka fuck buddies) with her. EXTRA BONUS!

Looking for friendship with Blonde female singer/songtress - m4w (new orleans)

single white male guitarist 126 pounds,dark haired with nice physique seeks loving sincere friendship with nicely shaped Blonde shoulder lenghth haired beautiful female singer and creative writer.

When all else fails....

These men are geniuses...if they're trying to hook up with girls who are too young to go to the bar. Something tells me these dudes (or maybe just one single creepy dude) are probably old enough to be your dad. Just a hunch, but don't take my word for it. If you're into free beer, check it out and report back.

Um...also, what exactly are they going to be "cutting up all night?"

Free Keg Party (Uptown - Audubon)

I will hosting a Keg Party on Friday Night the 26th of June in my backyard. I will have a few friends over listening to music, cooking on the grill and other stuff. We are going to be playing some drinking games, and cutting up all night. If you are interested, this is by invitation only, drop me an email and pic. I have done this in the past and it is always a lot of fun!

Bottle Baby

This young man is still dealing with the effects of growing up on formula. Now, he knows that breastmilk is for your baby, but she/he should stop being a greedy brat and let "Wanna Sip" finally get a sip.

Wanna Sip on your breastmilk! Seriously. - m4w - 19 (New Orleans)

WUSSUP LADIES! For some reason, the thought of suckling a beautiful woman's lactating breasts just popped into my head so I decided to try and achieve this goal. Don't be shy! I want to suck so much milk outta your sweater-puppies that I will could fix both of us a few bowls of cereal!

I'm 6'2, well endowed, played varsity B-Ball in high school, and am interested in women living in or very close to New Orleans. We need to be able to meet somewhere thats NOT my house since I'm stayin with bros until I head back to school next semester. Id rather not be bothered by them

When ya see this post just send me an email with some info about you and a picture then I'll do the same! btw NO STDs is a MUST! I am clean and I intend to stay that way!

I mean, I'm just sayin'

If y'all go out on a dinner date, you might want to ask the hostess for a booster seat for his ego.

You'll wonder how you ever lived without me. - 33 (New Orleans)

I am at a point in my life where I am very fortunate to have a great deal to offer the right woman. I have flaws of course, but they are minor and easily corrected. I have no major issues or baggage of any kind. I am happy and have more than I could ever need.

I wish I had someone to love and share all I have to give. Will anyone take the chance?

Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

Wearing floaty sleeves and shaking a tambourine provocatively might even get you into the hot tub.

Find a friend and join us for FLEETWOOD MAC - 49 (NEW ORLEANS)

I'm from Vegas and my best friend is from Florida.....we would love to find two lovely ladies to spoil june 19 & 20. Enjoy the finest food and party with us on Bourbon street. JOIN US TO THE FLEETWOOD MAC CONCERT as well. Yoy'll have the time of yourlife....we promise!
You must........ love to laugh and be pampered!!!!!!

All in the Family

Samual fucked your mom, but she got away (seriously, what was she thinking?). Now he wants to fuck you. He wants to show you how wrong she was. Can you "Rope the Wind"? Also, might want to get a DNA test first.

Can You Rope the Wind? - 36 (Kenner LA)

Who am I? I'm that guy. The one your mother warned you about. The guy she thought was trouble. The guy she thought would break your heart. I'm the guy she always wanted and had once, but let him go for the guy that would hurt her most. I'm the guy that put her back together. The guy that she can't have now, and for that reason, doesn't want you to have. I'm the guy that you spend your entire life looking for, only to realize, I've been right here all along, in plain sight. Can you see me? If so... can you rope me? If you can make me believe... than I can make you happy.

Who am I looking for...? A person that gets it. Simple Beauty. Super-models come and go but simple beauty last forever. Good people with good hearts. Those who believe in what can be done. A smile. A laugh. Something in the eyes. A tone in the voice. The optimistic realist. Someone that plans for tomorrow, but lives for today. Mother, girlfriend, lover, best friend, the girl next door, all in one. The underdog. Second best - they value the effort, live for the struggle, and the trophy means something. A drum with its own beat. Cultured by choice, not by birth. I can go on and on, but to someone that gets it... I don't have to. And that's who I 'm looking for.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions and literal interpretations

Yes, I do enjoy those very satisfying vibrations from my SonicCare toothbrush! And I really love to lick my teeth after having my twice a year, ADA recommended dentist tooth-cleaning visit.

Oh... never mind.

oral ladies??? (north shore area)

if you are wondering what the title means it says just what it means. if you need or want the best climax of your life just get back to me and we can see about working something out. nine 8 five 7 zero 7 five 9 one 5 just send a text of what u want and need and send a pic of u or of what you need licked till you can walk wright.

W4M Showcase Special

Baby, I think you might be expecting too much.

Not Sure What to Expect - 23 (New Orleans)

Lucky you, I caught your eye. My eyes see only hope for our people, everything else serves no purpose. I wish to have a man with me who will treat me with the entirety of his affection. If you wish to contact me, well nothing is stopping you, get to it!

I will.... run far, far away

Ladies, are you hard up for rent money this month? Not afraid to get it on with a man whose greatest claim to fame is winning a $20 bar tab at a nondescript Kenner bar for his karaoke rendition of "Jessie's Girl"? Let me just suggest you put on your power suit before entering into the financial negotiations with this totally-not-a-john-i-swear fella.
Looking for sexual and financial arrangement - 41 (N.O.)

Looking to meet any age, race, size lady for mutual benefit. Contribution amount can be set in email. Be open minded, ready to please and be pleased. Send pics and tell me a little of your situation, I will return the favor. Please type "I will" in subject line of your reply so I don't delete as spam. Thanks!

And if you don't have to car, this man can help you out

Is it prostitution if no money is involved? Of course not! Girl, you need a car, this man needs sex. With this deal, you both win and officially, it's not illegal.

* * * * YOU NEED A CAR--I NEED RELIEF * * * * - 35 (New Orleans)
Hi
I'm looking for a girl who needs a car and would like to have some fun. I'm 35 SWM 6'0 nice guy. The deal would be you'd get to use a good running 90s car and we would meet for some fun three times a week. So if this sounds good to you, let me know what kind of fun you'd like, where about you live, and a pic or description would be nice.
Let me know and hopefully we can help each other out.
Thanks
Lee

When driving downtown to find a hooker is just too much work

Ladies of the night - this man is looking for you! But you better have a car because he's not leaving his Super 8 hotel out on Chef Highway out in Eastern New Orleans to come pick you up.

Nothing says a good time like a Super 8 hotel, Eastern New Orleans, and Aeropostale t-shirts.

in town for a few and HORNEY AS HELL - m4w - 27 (chef hwy super 8)

Well im not goin to kid around. i want some sex and as kinky as i can get it!! white male 6'1" and well indoud!! lades this is nsa and i get the job done verry well. i dont usually get people that dont give me web site or some other stupid hoops that im not jumpn through. so if you want it come and get it!! ddfree so you gotta be 2.

Baby makin'

Do you want a baby? This man is here to help.

Let me help you get Pregnant !!!!!!!!! - 29 (French Quarter)

I want to help you get pregnant. I am a single white male. Six three 220 lbs, blue eyes, short brown hair College educated and hung 9 thick inches. I live and work in the New Orleans CBD. I want to meet several times to make sure you are pregnant.

Straight outta NYC

Another winner for you. This time, Nola CL presents you with someone exotic - this fine specimen comes all the way from the Bronx!

Man from da BRONXXX looking fo his southun girrl - 23 (504)
Yo, my name is Joe and I am lookin fo a gurly to share some time wit. I like girls all ages, sizes, and kolors. I am interested in ethnic or cougar chixxx, but a young ladie wood be coo. So hit me up on my cellula fone, six four six, two nine six, one one six zero. I like naughty texxxts, sextin, or camera fone pics. Or if you is shy, you can just call me, or e mail me. Hit me back ladiez!

Hot Dudes, Dead Animals

These fine young men are aiming for a fine young lady and hoping to reel her in. So what do you prefer - fish or deer?

Hansom Bachelor #1: Fish

Looking for that someone special - 23 (New Orleans)
Hi, my name is Kevin, 75% Vietnamese 25% Caucasian, I'm down to Earth, work about twice a week, likes to do outdoors sports like volleyball, fishing, etc.... anything active... I treat ladies with respect and caring... Currently going to Crescent City School of Gambling.... Dream is to become a Dentist one day.... after casino work, I will attend LSU Dental School.... I would love something as simple as dinner and movies afterwards.... I love caucasian or asian women that is active, has a good sense of humor, outgoing, caring, smart, pretty, and goal - oriented...... that's pretty much it.... I'm from the east by the way..... just email me if you would like to find out more about me....

Hansom Bachelor #2: Deer
Anyone want to grab a beer? Im new here - 23 (Gretna)
Well I just moved down to N.O. last saturday and started my new job this monday. I dont know any people outside of work yet and am looking to meet some people or just one, whatever happens first i guess. I have a nice apartment all to myself and it gets a little lonely here. Shoot me an email if you would like to grab a drink some night, im pretty much open every night, as long as im not putting in 12 hours in the office everyday. and yes, im real......so no fake people with date site links please!


Damn, this is tough decision...nothing gets this vegan's panties wet like men holding dead animals.